She realised she couldn't save, couldn't protect, couldn't guide, couldn't cover for, couldn't hide, couldn't persuade, couldn't will, couldn't demand, couldn't bully, couldn't cajole, couldn't expect, couldn't have the right to, couldn't do anything to help, to relieve, absorb or relieve suffering, couldn't to anything useful ( or even useless), couldn't exert power, couldn't manipulate, couldn't face things head on...
In fact she was completely helpless to help anyone, even herself. This feeling of complete helplessness was very like hopelessness, but maybe it was just facing up to reality.
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